A nerdy Star Wars wedding but make it kink-friendly

Offbeat partners: Kat & Michael

Date and location: 4/01/2023, The Westshore Grand Hotel in Tampa, FL

Our kink-friendly & nerdy Star Wars wedding at a glance:

I think one of the things that made our wedding unique is that we had to do it twice – we live in Florida, and our original date was set for 10/01/2022, but Hurricane Ian had other ideas. So our wedding venue and most of our vendors and basically all of Tampa was shut down that week. Fortunately our vendors were okay with letting us postpone the wedding, but it was still a trial having to get in touch with everyone with less than a week before.

Thankfully, the hurricane passed with minimal damage in our area. My husband and I decided we still wanted to have a small wedding because October 1st is the anniversary of the day we started our relationship. We had a small ceremony in our backyard with some local friends, while our family and friends who weren't able to come watched over Zoom. We were even able to get my mom down from Kentucky before the hurricane happened, so she could attend! We then had a much bigger ceremony and reception at our intended venue, The Westshore Grand Hotel in Tampa.

Michael and I met in 2014 at an event called Frolicon in Atlanta, which is an adult sci-fi, fantasy and fetish event. We have been together ever since. We are an openly kinky couple and are involved in a power exchange relationship where Michael is the dominant and I am the submissive. We are also employed in the adult entertainment industry and have combined our careers as we have our lives together.

Tell us about kink-friendly & nerdy Star Wars wedding ceremony:

We are an interfaith couple. My husband is Jewish and I am a godless heathen, but I knew it was very important for him and his family to honor their culture, so I was happy to have a modern Jewish ceremony officiated by a Rabbi. We honored some traditional Jewish wedding practices, like the bride circling the groom seven times. We, along with our parents, signed a Ketubah in both Hebrew and English, but adapted the language to include more modern ideas about marriage. We also had what is called a “Yichud,” which is where the newly married couple spends a few moments alone together in private before joining their guests for the reception.

While our ceremony was traditional in many respects, my husband and I can never resist an opportunity to throw in some light-hearted jokes and a little fun. The wedding party walked down the aisle to “Uptown Funk” by Bruno Mars, and I walked down the aisle to a violin arrangement of the “Imperial March” from Star Wars (aka Vader's Theme).

Our Rabbi wrote a beautiful ceremony that segued well into the vows my husband and I wrote to each other. (Note from Offbeat Wed: stay tuned for the vows!)

Tell us about the nerdy Star Wars wedding reception:

Mike and I knew we wanted our reception to be fun and quirky. We created all of the centerpieces on the tables with glass beads and LED lights, featuring Funko Pops from our favorite books/movies/TV shows. Some of the Pops I made myself, as Funko doesn't make them, such as “The Phantom of the Opera” and the Hunter S. Thompson ones from “Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas.” I also made all of the bouquets and boutonnieres. I hid little charms in my bouquet of things I love, and I put handmade charms in the bouquets and boutonnieres for the bridal party/immediate family, inspired by their favorite things. Mike's was the TARDIS from Doctor Who, for example. The cocktail hour music was curated by Mike, featuring jazz covers of contemporary pop songs, i.e. Post Modern Jukebox and Richard Cheese.

I think the biggest feature, however, was our wedding cake. We had a projection mapped cake. That is, we had a fake, or “dummy,” cake and hired a company to make an animation that was projected on the cake. They created two different displays: one that was an homage to our pop culture favorites and the other was more romantic and set to a song that is very dear to us. It's a cover of “That's All I've Got To Say” originally by Art Garfunkel, but more commonly known from its placement in “The Last Unicorn” movie.

As we are an openly kinky couple, a friend surprised us with a pair of handcuffs from Star Wars. We were able to sneak away with the photographer for a few photos.

What was the most important lesson you learned from your kink-friendly & nerdy Star Wars wedding?

I'd like to preface this by thanking my husband for doing the lion's share of logistics and planning. It took a lot of the pressure off of me, and gave me the freedom to focus on the creative elements (flowers, decor, etc.) which is my strong suit, while planning is his. Together we relied on our strengths and managed to pull off not just one, but TWO weddings within six months of each other.

I'm also grateful for how he kept me calm when we had to pivot due to the hurricane. Prior to Ian, a hurricane had not hit the west coast of Florida in a number of decades, so we thought we were in the clear. But one can always count on weather to be unpredictable. The week before the wedding was frantic as we tried to get in touch with everyone and update them on the changes.

Unfortunately due to the changes and timing, that meant not everyone was able to make it to both weddings. For the October wedding, some of my family made it down before the hurricane, but Michael's family in New Jersey was not able to make it. Conversely for the April wedding, his family was able to make it, but mine was not. I guess if I had any wisdom to impart to Offbeat Wed readers is to be flexible and trust in yourself when things go wrong. I was disappointed that things went down the way they did, but I'm grateful for the interesting story I have to tell about it. Besides, few brides get the opportunity to wear their dresses twice!

Vendors behind this kinky & nerdy Star Wars wedding:

• Venue: The Westshore Grand Hotel
• DJ and Photographer: Expert Productions
• Officiant: Rabbi Jeffrey Astrachan
• Projection mapping: Enlightened Monkey Arts
• Cake (Real and “dummy” cake): Edible Pleasures
• Wedding Gown: Patricia's Boutique
• Bridesmaid dresses: Azazie
• Hair: Krystal at Black Magic Hair Studios
• Make-Up: Hannah at Michelle Renee: The Studio
• Rings: Patrick Adair Designs

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